I’ve realised something pretty interesting - some people drink to forget, to not feel anything. I had to get sober to not feel anything. I guess drinking just makes me feel too much, stuff that I didn’t even know was still there, it makes me remember too many things I probably wouldn’t want to remember. Remembering too much just eventually makes me want to jump off a bridge or some shit, and it’s not necessarily remembering bad stuff - it’s the good stuff too, and knowing that I will probably never experience something good like that again. Now I just push all these feelings to the back of my mind and go on about my day without having to acknowledge them. Try to fall asleep at night before I start thinking too much. I think it’s better like this anyway. I probably spent too much time feeling and thinking and remembering and it all eventually hurts in the end. Sometimes it’s nice to feel nothing.